Thinking.

I'm getting married tomorrow!!!!!!!!! I can't even believe it's already here!! And I couldn't be more excited. However... naturally all this talk of marriage has brought me to start thinking about leaving home. I am the biggest home-body in the world. I love being home. I was always the one who would get homesick on vacations. Even when my family was with me! I thought I was gonna die when I did my study abroad program in Mexico for a month. I just need to be home.

This is the reason I love home so much.

I have been raised with 4 brothers. Four brothers that mean the world to me. I love coming home at night knowing at least one of them will be there to talk to me or make me laugh. We are all very close. My brothers have always taken care of me. Yes they have teased me and annoyed me and have made me cry... but they are always there to hug me afterward.

I'll miss being around their silliness every day. And I'll miss finding them sleeping around the house.
My older brother, Matt, shows his love for me in a special way. When he makes fun of my clothes or does the infamous forehead slap.... it means 'I care'. Matt and I are only 16 months apart. We have been through a lot together, and I know he is always watching out for me. He knows I'm always there for him too. I love that I can just look at Matt, and he will know exactly what I'm thinking. Matt moved out a couple months ago... So I've already begun missing him.

Little Keaton is the friendliest person I know. I remember when we were little we would go to McDonalds or somewhere and Keaton would have a new friend in 2 seconds. Keaton has always been very kind to me and is usually the one to laugh at my jokes. Keaton was our football player. But even when he would get tackled he would still be smiling. I wish I could be more like him. Yesterday we went through the temple together. He should be getting his mission call this week! I'm so proud of him. And I'll miss him.

I feel that Jake and I have grown extra close lately. He is at that point in his life where his personality is really shining through and I think he is hilarious! He also is always the one to talk to me. He will wait all day for me to come home because he has a funny story to tell me or he needs my advise. I love it. Jake has always been the super intelligent and spiritual giant in our house. I know he's going to grow up to be a very special boy. I don't want to miss that...

Mr. G is my nurse. He'll act tough and put on a hard face in front of everyone, but the second you are sick or sad, he is in the kitchen making you food or getting you a blanket and starting a movie for you. I'll have to have him train Karl for me. Garrison's personality is also starting to really develop and he cracks me up as well. I feel like this little brother is so strong and so smart. I'll miss him and I hope he never forgets how much I love him.

I'll also miss our animals. Our dogs each have their very own personalities. I've also perfected my chicken noise.... maybe it is time to move on.

I'll miss my dad. My mom married my dad when I was 5. I'm not sure why.... but I didn't like him. I remember thinking his hair was dumb and his shirts were weird. Over the past 16 years, we have both said 'I'm Sorry' a lot. And now we are finally at a point where we get along. My dad is an incredible person. He has made so many changes in his life and I know he would go to the ends of the earth for my brothers and I. Even though we haven't always gotten along, I've never questioned whether he loves me or not. I'll miss being here when he comes home from work.
My mom.

I think about everything my mom has been through and it's a miracle she's normal. Not only is she normal, she's amazing. My mom has been my rock my entire life. No matter what I was going through, she has always there to help me through it. Whether it was a bad hair day, losing a friend, or needing revival after Matt told the boy I liked that I thought he was cute when I was standing right next to him at the school assembly! She was always there for a hug, a word of advise, or a drive. I love laying in my mom's bed with her and making fun of people on TV... even though the whole time she is telling me to scoot over. I like when she comes in my room and lays on my bed to talk to me while I work on my computer. I like when she asks me to do her hair. I like making her laugh so hard she pees her pants (literally). My mom has been such an incredible mom. She has taught me so many things that will hopefully help me be the kind of mom she is. Because not only is she a wonderful mom, she's my best friend. I'll miss her.

So as I've been thinking about these things, I've also been thinking about what I'm excited for.

I'm excited to burn dinners. I'm excited to make cookies and put them in my cute new cookie jar. I'm excited to clean our condo. I'm excited to wake up next to Karl Reed every morning and learn more about him and grow even closer to him. I'm excited to get in our first fight! haha I'm excited to be a mom. I'm excited for the life I have ahead of me. I know there will be good times and bad. But I know I'll be fine if Karl is there to hold my hand and help me through it.
I love my family. They have made me who I am today. They have prepared me to marry Karl tomorrow. I'll miss them, but I know I'll still see them all the time.

I'll miss being at home... but I'll have a new home.